Full Circle Part 9/12: Sustaining Success

What is success as a college student?

Throughout the past eight editions of this newsletter, we’ve talked about success through the scope of academics, your professional life, or even just socially. But it’s more complicated than that… success means something different in each of these areas, and is benchmarked at completely different levels for all of us.

So, that said: What is it, and how can you get closer to it? Today we’re talking about sustaining success.

You’ve maybe had people tell you that if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. The core of that is true. Sure there are parts along the way that will challenge you and beat you down, but at the core of it, a life where you enjoy what you do is a successful one.

We all did our best to pick the right major as a 17 or 18-year-old. Right now you’re probably thinking maybe I could’ve studied this or explored that. We encourage you to challenge those thoughts. In the grand scheme of things, your major isn’t as defining as it feels. There was a reason you chose your major, so trust in your past self. Some of our best mentors have done complete 180º through their career, and that’s where they found their success.

But let’s talk about one of the occasional beatdowns along the way: Burnout. It’s a product of stress from being overworked (or under-challenged in some cases), mixed with pressure and conflict. Even just while you’re in college, you balance assignments and due dates with group projects you really wish you got to choose your group for (we’ll talk about this in a couple weeks). It’s tough.

Four years later, we look back on the times we were burning out ourselves. When you’re doing what you love, it’s easy to look fondly upon the times when we were “so back,” but in hindsight we also come to love the parts where it felt “so over”.

So what is success then? Does college have to be a continuous cycle of syllabus week to midterms to finals? Not exactly.

College is a game of balance as we’ve said many times. That looming deadline will never get easier, and you’ll never actually get ahead of your work in a way that prevents that last minute feeling like the world is burning down. We’ve tried not to shy away from the fact that we’re college students, and we’d rather go out with some friends than put in an extra hour for that upcoming exam.

There’s a middle of the road here. We’ve all talked about goals since middle school. But let’s dive deeper, and get specific on what an effective one looks like. The purpose behind setting goals is clear, but learning how to set them intentionally is the next step in the process of sustaining success.

The most classic goal setting technique is SMART goals, which is an acronym to help you remember to make your goals:

• Smart

• Measurable

• Achievable

• Relevant

• Timely

When setting a SMART goal, you want to make sure that your one-sentence statement for your goal checks all of these boxes.

If this method works for you, great. If we’re being candid, we believe SMART goals are a waste of time.

Our preferred method is BHAG goals - another acronym.

• Big

• Hairy

• Audacious

• Goals

These are the goals that scare you and push you to be better. They’re the kind of goals that when you tell them to people they call you crazy and shocked you’re attempting to do it. They’re almost a little impressed before you’ve even accomplished it. They are intimidating, but if you commit yourself to the process you’ll surprise yourself with the results.

It's not as easy as waking up and deciding to run a marathon (though this makes an excellent BHAG goal). You must recognize that achieving this requires setting and accomplishing numerous mini-goals along the way. Our philosophy is to establish ambitious goals first, then determine the necessary steps to reach them, rather than setting small goals that might lack meaningful purpose or impact.

We’ve talked about it when discussing previous topics, but the execution is often the hardest and most crucial step in any plan. When it comes to your goals, taking a big leap off the deep end can actually be a great way to start. Maybe this means writing your goal on a sticky note and pasting it on the wall in a location you look frequently. Maybe accompany it with a countdown next to it. Whatever works for you to keep yourself accountable, but just start.

As it applies to us and this newsletter, it was very important during its inception that the first step involved actually writing. It’s not something either of us do often, and talking about writing wouldn’t actually make us better writers. Before we had a name or even a place to post anything we were brainstorming ideas and topics.

We’re not finished, and we’ve learned a LOT throughout this process, so for now we’d call that a success. Here’s two more recent encounters we’ve had with success:

Jon: I’m beyond guilty of putting too much on my plate. Especially my first three years, I was eager to join every club, organization, or program to milk the most out of my time here at UConn. I’ve had far too many nights where I felt like the world would explode if I didn’t allocate my time in the right places. Just this week I had three exams back-to-back on the same day. No matter how I study, that's a challenge.

I don’t want to stray from the conversation of goals, but I’m huge on celebrating the small things. I’ve always found it easy to push through and leave myself time to reflect on it at the end of the day. Success for me is pushing through when I don’t want to get the work done so I’m instead left with the time to enjoy the freedom of having gotten it done later. Most nights you won’t find me hunched over my desk, but instead enjoying that putting my brain to work earlier in the day gave me that time.

Sam: Two Fridays ago I was busy from start to finish. After a quick morning call with Jon, I met my mom (who was visiting) and my sister (a fellow Badger) for breakfast. The day continued with household chores, hanging out with friends (we call ourselves the Friday Boys), study time, and family dinner. By evening, I was ready to unwind at a friend's place playing Mario Kart. Around 11pm, while we were mid-race, Connor Sorg (known to us as "Skeen") walked in, laptop and headphones in hand. It struck me then - while some friends were out for drinks, others were playing board games downstairs, and we were playing Wii, Connor was still immersed in his passion: making music. Not for a class assignment or work deadline, but simply because he loves it. And let me tell you: he’s incredibly talented. From hosting numerous events on campus, to recently winning a film festival, he spends his free time pursuing what lights him up. The beautiful thing is that when you're doing what you love like Skeen does, it doesn't feel like work. I'm sure he faces challenges, but there's clearly something driving him forward. I'd bet anything it's because he's chasing some truly Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals.

This week was less about equipping you with a specific tool or website to help you, but a mindset to approach your studies from the outside-in. It’s normal to feel insecure in your major, but you can’t allow that to prevent you from setting and meeting your goals. Next week we’ll talk about a couple more roadblocks, specifically in group work.